-At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
-Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
-Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
-Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to full strength.
-In the memo field of all your cheques, write "for marijuana".
-Order diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
-Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'.
-Sing along at the opera.
-Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.
-Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does.
-Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names.
-Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
-Highlight your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this.
-Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
-Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.
-Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
-Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronised chair dancing.
-Determine how many cups of coffee are 'too many'.
-Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
-For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in the fish tank.
If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how many you can catch in your mouth.
-Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc... in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none just lean back, pat your stomach and say "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
-Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
-Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
-As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
-Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
-When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
-Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."
-When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
-Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go".
-Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
-Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'in'.
-Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
-Don't use punctuation. Ever.
-Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
-Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
-Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
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